Say What?

The following are actual announcements from church bulletins:

• "Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands."
• During the absence of our Pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
• Announcement in the church bulletin for a National PRAYER & FASTING Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals."
• The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."
• Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
• Tuesday at 4 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.
• The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.
• Don't let worry kill you, let the church help.
• This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
• Thursday at 5:00 pm there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become little mothers, please see the minister in his study.
• Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10:00. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
• The Lutheran Men's group will meet at 6 PM. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.
• Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
• The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement Friday.
• This evening at 7 P.M. there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
• Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again" giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
• Next Sunday is the family hay ride and bonfire at the Fowlers'. Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time.
• The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
• The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.
• Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
• Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.