Monday, August 09, 2010

My Portion

It's been a while, but for some reason tears started to come out of my eyes while driving down a stretch of road with a beautiful sunset ahead. I had to pull to the side of the road because I couldn't stop crying. I had been at my father-in-law's house.

I suppose I was crying because he is about to pass from this life and I don't quite know how to handle it. I've always been told that a loved one's passing is a celebration, that they leave this earth for the promises of heaven and eternal life.
We should rejoice for them, and rightly so.

This wonderful loving man, husband, father --- lived a good Christian life. No one is more thankful than I for having lived this lifetime knowing him, loving him.

As he lay on his bed, barely breathing, he is surrounded by the people closest to him --- his beautiful , loving wife, children, grandchildren, me.

I suppose I'm crying because I'm being selfish...what I would give to relive the days he called me “son”, the times he put his arms around me when I was down, when he always knew exactly what to say. Mostly, I miss him saying --- “I love you, guy.”

For a man who didn't bring me into this world, he is the one I can call “dad” with all my heart.

I love you too, big guy.


My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:26

2 comments:

Terry said...

this is a shame noel..and such a hard thing to live through. how blessed your dear father in law was to have a son like you.
when you see him in heaven you will hear him say, "l love you guy!"
and you will say "i love you too big guy!"
dad golden will be 84 in november and i can, here on earth tell him everyday, "i love you dad" but if he doesn't get saved before he dies, i will never be able to tell him in heaven that i love you.
you have the blessed hope that your dad in law is in heaven noel lewis and even though you must be having very sad days missing him, you WILL see him again.
praying for you..love terry

Anonymous said...

he did love you. very much.